My Issue

Everybody has issues in there life. Whether it be personal, finacial, emotional you get the idea. Well I don't know if those of you that have read my blog for awhile have ever noticed there is NO pictures of me. There is a reason. I don't want you to see me. Why? My issue is my weight. And first of all this is not an easy post for me. Let's just say I have been down about this subject for awhile. This is my way of trying to help myself do something about it. My thinking is maybe if I tell my blogger friends(which if you read this I hope I can say that)that I will get the support I so deperately need. What do I mean. Well first off, I LOVE my husband. But he does not understand my issue at all. WHen he was a senior in high school he was 160 lbs at 6 ft 4in. He was way to skinny. Now he is 220. He was sick for 2 days and lost 10lbs. He does not know what it is like to have to lose weight. In the spring/summer he looses weight. In the winter/fall he will put on weight. Not alot. After Kaylee was born he lost like 20 lbs. Not even trying mind you. Well I gained 13 lbs while I was pregnant with her. I have put on all my weight after she was born. I am not happy in my skin. I have bought maybe 2 articles of clothing in the last year for myself. I hate to go shopping for me. I try to stay away from a mirror at all cost. I do not go anywhere on my days off cause I don't want to be seen if I don't have to. My daughter is the only thing that has kept me from going into a deep depression because of it. I know this is turning into a not so good post. But I need to do this.

So today I have decided that I am so ready for a change. I need to find support. I need to explain to my husband how he HAS to help me help myself. Which I still don't know how to do that. I decided I am going to talk about the issue in my blog so I have to either read it, or talk about it to those of you that might comment on it. That way I will have the will to do something about it. So that those of you anticipating the news of how it is going I won't disappoint. My other step is to join Weight Watchers. I have been in the progam before. The very first time I lost 50 lbs. So I know it works. There is a meeting in the next town close to us.(about 8 miles away)

So I am going to make a promise to myself. But for all to see so that hopefully it will motivate me to be successful.
I promise to myelf to start my journey to lose the unhappiness from my life that is my weight problem. I want to be able to go to a store and buy clothes and not get mad and leave with nothing. I want to shed the pounds so that in a year I don't have to worry about how much more I will have to lose after the 2nd child. I want to be able to enjoy, my daughter and the next child, happily and not misirably. I want to be able to show my blogger friends pics of me and my family without feeling like a fool because of my weight. I want to look in the mirror and not be ashamed of what I look like. I want to be able to leave my house and not be ashamed of letting people see me. So today I am promising to MYSELF to start a journey to become healthy, happy and to become the person I can see in my mind who and what I want to look like.

So here is the start of a new journey. I want to thank those of you that want to come on that journey to see me through it now. It is going to be long and sometimes hard. But I know that if i find the right support I can do it right. So wish me luck and I guess stay tuned for a happier, healthier and hopefully smaller me in the months to come.