Wednesday, December 12, 2007

To be or not to be?

To be or not to be that is the question. The subject to be or not to be pregnant. I had my wonderful annual about 3 or 4 weeks ago. I was talking to her about my headaches I get with my wonderful monthly friend. I am beginning to think they are hormonal, obviously if that is when I get them. Well I told her I don't want to go on any kind of birth control, cause I know people have said that will help alleviate them. My reasoning is this. It took us 3 years to get pregnant with our daughter. We did all the testing to make sure there wasn't anything wrong. I had a very emotional time those three years especially the last one. I was stressed out a good year of that trying, when my brothers were in Iraq. And I started to not like my job. Well I got a new job and my brothers came home. Still nothing. That is when I began to think I was going crazy. I had 2 people that got pregant that I had major issues with. The one was not fit to be parents and I still think that way now. I just couldn't understand why we couldn't have the chance to be parents. I ask the Lord almost daily why can't we show you that we could be good parents and raise our child to know you and follow you. Then the days would come every month when I would cry for 24-48 hrs straight and get mad at the wrong person. Emotionally I couldn't take it anymore. My husband thought it was all his fault and he wouldn't talk about it. I need to talk about it. I went to a doctors appointment in tears and told them I thought I was turning into a nut case. They said no you are right were you are suppose to be. I thought that was a nut case answer. I finally watched a baby story that changed my way of thinking. The couple were both married before. The husband had been told in his first marriage that he wouldn't be able to have kids because his count was so low. So when he got remarried they were okay with the fact that they would probably never have kids. The story was for their second child. I don't know why that made me relax but it did. I think it was maybe a month month and a half later that we were pregnant.

So I told my dr that that is why I don't want to go on birth control. Because when Kaylee turns two I want to either be pregnant or start trying. She look at me and said I don't think you should wait until she is two. I think that you should start trying now and if your not pregnant by april you need to call us. So I don't know if I should activelly try or just wait and see. I am ready but I would also like to loose some weight before I get pregnant again. So I am running circles in my mind. To be pregnant or not to be, that is the question.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Holiday Home Tour

Holiday Home Tour!
Heidi Jo is hosting a Holiday Home Tour Extravaganza go here: to see more Holiday Homes.

Here is a tour of our home. I actually am a late decorator this year. I had to get rid of a baby swing before I could decorate. I don't have alot of room in my home. So on with the tour.

This is one of the stockings hung by the window.

Every year since we have been together my husband buys me a Pr*ecious Moments X-mas bulb, they all have little stands with the year on it. I do have two different ones from the same year. I bought the extra one.

I actually keep these out all year long with my Pr*ecious Moments wedding figurines, this is one of the bulbs and my sister in law got me the other figurine in that year for x-mas.

This is my generic Pr*ecious Moments nativity set. It isn't real Pr*ecious Moments but it will do until someone in my family finally gets what I ask for x-mas. I have been asking for 4 years now for a real pr*ecious moments nativity set. Someday or I will have to do it myself.

The tree is decorated with gold bulbs and pr*ecious moments ornaments. Can you tell I like Pr*ecious Moments.

Every year(since I moved out on my own) for my birthday my mom gets me the pr*ecious moments ornament for that year. It obviously has the year on it. This is 2007's ornament.

This one says our first x-mas together. She gave that to me the first year me and mike were together.

2006's ornament

And I think this was 2001.

I have one for every year since 2000. And then I have plastic ones I have bought along the way. So that is my tour, thanks for touring my home.