Monday, September 24, 2007

My Issue

Everybody has issues in there life. Whether it be personal, finacial, emotional you get the idea. Well I don't know if those of you that have read my blog for awhile have ever noticed there is NO pictures of me. There is a reason. I don't want you to see me. Why? My issue is my weight. And first of all this is not an easy post for me. Let's just say I have been down about this subject for awhile. This is my way of trying to help myself do something about it. My thinking is maybe if I tell my blogger friends(which if you read this I hope I can say that)that I will get the support I so deperately need. What do I mean. Well first off, I LOVE my husband. But he does not understand my issue at all. WHen he was a senior in high school he was 160 lbs at 6 ft 4in. He was way to skinny. Now he is 220. He was sick for 2 days and lost 10lbs. He does not know what it is like to have to lose weight. In the spring/summer he looses weight. In the winter/fall he will put on weight. Not alot. After Kaylee was born he lost like 20 lbs. Not even trying mind you. Well I gained 13 lbs while I was pregnant with her. I have put on all my weight after she was born. I am not happy in my skin. I have bought maybe 2 articles of clothing in the last year for myself. I hate to go shopping for me. I try to stay away from a mirror at all cost. I do not go anywhere on my days off cause I don't want to be seen if I don't have to. My daughter is the only thing that has kept me from going into a deep depression because of it. I know this is turning into a not so good post. But I need to do this.

So today I have decided that I am so ready for a change. I need to find support. I need to explain to my husband how he HAS to help me help myself. Which I still don't know how to do that. I decided I am going to talk about the issue in my blog so I have to either read it, or talk about it to those of you that might comment on it. That way I will have the will to do something about it. So that those of you anticipating the news of how it is going I won't disappoint. My other step is to join Weight Watchers. I have been in the progam before. The very first time I lost 50 lbs. So I know it works. There is a meeting in the next town close to us.(about 8 miles away)

So I am going to make a promise to myself. But for all to see so that hopefully it will motivate me to be successful.
I promise to myelf to start my journey to lose the unhappiness from my life that is my weight problem. I want to be able to go to a store and buy clothes and not get mad and leave with nothing. I want to shed the pounds so that in a year I don't have to worry about how much more I will have to lose after the 2nd child. I want to be able to enjoy, my daughter and the next child, happily and not misirably. I want to be able to show my blogger friends pics of me and my family without feeling like a fool because of my weight. I want to look in the mirror and not be ashamed of what I look like. I want to be able to leave my house and not be ashamed of letting people see me. So today I am promising to MYSELF to start a journey to become healthy, happy and to become the person I can see in my mind who and what I want to look like.

So here is the start of a new journey. I want to thank those of you that want to come on that journey to see me through it now. It is going to be long and sometimes hard. But I know that if i find the right support I can do it right. So wish me luck and I guess stay tuned for a happier, healthier and hopefully smaller me in the months to come.

5 comments:

Grace said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Grace said...

Great post! Oh, I'm so happy for you! If you want to lose weight, then definitely do it for yourself. I will be praying for you... strength, peace and happiness. However, I truly believe happiness comes from God...a gift. I have done this in the past…oh, if I have this or if this happens, I’ll be happy, but true happiness I have found comes from one source, God.
"Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight."
1 Peter 3:3-4

Thank you for sharing your story with us! I do believe eating healthy and exercising are good for the mind & body. Good LUCK!!!!

“I want to be able to show my blogger friends pics of me and my family without feeling like a fool because of my weight.” ---- If people judge you for what you look like or anything else, then you didn't need them anyway. :)

Keep us posted!

Miah said...

I am wishing you lots of luck! I do not post many pictures of myself either because I feel like a slob. I gained 65+ when I was pregnant. I also had gained 35 before that after I was married. Thats 100 lbs. Yuck.

I don't want to waste money on nice clothes in hopes that I will loose more weight. So I have been wearing mens tees, and never fix my hair etc.

So far, I have lost 50 and would like to loose another 25. I lost this just by cutting out fast food, drinking lots of water, drinking very little pop and walking.

I did take a before picture, so I could see my progress. If<--WHEN I get more comfortable in my skin, then I will post my before and afters.

Stay possitive! You can do it. Can't wait to hear your progress.

Kari said...

Dawn,

I know how hard of a struggle it is to lose weight. You've seen the roller coaster that I've been riding my whole life!

I also know that you are a beautiful person INSIDE and OUT! I wish you great success on your lifestyle change. You are right that you will be able to enjoy Kaylee more, and just feel better in general once the extra pounds are gone.

It's not any easy journey, but it's one worth taking. I'm here to help in any way I can!

Jennifer said...

Hey Dawn,

Thanks for stopping by my blog.

As I read your most recent post, my heart is just pouring out to you right now. I, too, have a weight problem that I've honestly been battling my entire life.

I've never failed at anything that I've set my mind to, except weight loss.

I know how hard it is to admit that you have a weight problem. I also hate pictures, but part of what I'm learning through my struggles (and hopefully victory!) is that my weight is not the main issue. I am trying my best to be happy in my own skin, to love myself the way that I know our Savior loves me.

I also do WeightWatchers. It's such a long gruling road, but I'm pleased to say that I've lost about 17 lbs since April. That's certainly not fast weight loss to say the least, but I think the key is to not give up. I've been on again, off again, but as long as I keep pressing on, I can do this.

I'm putting you on my prayer list, so know that I'm praying for your determination to pull you through. I've heard it said that it's "determination not motivation."

Press on Sister! Press on!
You can do this!

~Jennifer